Am I Enough?

Enough.

The word has haunted me, or taunted me, since around spring break. We're rapidly closing in on my oldest child's high school graduation, and thoughts of what we've done right and where we've failed are never far from my mind these days.

Have we taught him enough about Jesus?

Did we take him to church enough?

Did we eat enough dinners as a family?

Did we show him enough of the world?

Did we teach him how to cook enough meals?

Did we teach enough about how to manage his finances?

Did we share enough about our family's focus of God, generosity, and laughter?

Did we love him enough?

Did we discipline him enough?

Did we give him enough room to fail?

Did we teach him enough about failing well?

Did we encourage him enough?

Did we celebrate his wins enough?

Were we enough?

Was I enough?

The more I re-hash my failures as a mom -- and there were more than enough -- I'm reminded of something Heather MacFadyen host of the podcast Don't Mom Alone says: mothers are important but not essential.

I can't do enough to save my child or even ensure he's on God's path, but that also means I'm not strong enough, and my failures aren't final enough to prevent God from doing the work He has planned

In short, no, I am not enough, but I was never meant to be.